My Diary

My UK trip

2006-09-29T07:03:00.000-07:00

It was starting of my first tour to outside my country; I was very excited as well as scared. Excited because besides climbing the career ladder I had the oppourtunity to see the culture, place and people whose ancestors dictated and ruled our ancestors and country in past. I was scared because of new unknown place with no friends (except few with whom I had text or voice communication only), more urban culture and may be also because of my poor communication skills especially in English with added sugar of accent difference. I managed to show only my excitement that’s also to a certain extent but not even a slight tint of fear. I guess only my brother Rahul may have seen some amount of fear reflected in form of anxiety. Manish one of my friend was giving me all suggestions whatever he has with his London visit during his study also another friend Amey has given me some tips as he returned from London just few weeks ago. Amey gave me some British coins which was around 5 pound and I was thinking whether I have to pay him back around 500 Rs. – but fortunately he didn’t asked for that and latter I found why didn’t he asked for that. I kept telling others that going foreign is not a big deal now a days even dogs and cats are traveling abroad and hence I am neither excited nor scared.

Finally my take off date knocked and I packed whatever I can think off starting from Rin(cloth washing detergent) soap to song cds. Night before the take off date I had a dinner with Manish, Hema, Praveen and Rahul at my room with everybody’s contribution in cooking and I felt happy that atleast some of the flour and vegetables got consumed otherwise it would have got wasted. I burnt some song cd when my friends left and I went to bed around 2 PM with the plan that I will get up at 6 AM. I had a flight at 9:00 AM for Mumbai, when I got up it was 7:15 AM and I directly went to bathroom when I came out of bathroom Rahul was still sleeping, he was suppose to company me to Airport. I woke him and told not to go with some anger and was expecting that atleast he will offer me tea but that also doesn’t happened.

I reached Mumbai and went directly to IITB and my brother received me in his hostel, we together went to Mathematics department to get a glimpse of our great professors but no luck except MKS sir, I found worthless telling him that I am going UK. It was raining whole of the day I was talking with my brother and then in night I met some of my friend Amar, Anurag, Sujay, Deepak.

I started for Mumbai international Airport and when I reached 4 hour before the flight take off time. I thought why the hell I came so early – usual instruction is to come around 3 hour early and that again could be squeezed with 2-2.30 hour with usual bullshit excuses. When Anurag returned and said final good bye I felt the real heat, reached the peak of anxiety status. I calmed down myself and started observing around me and after 4-5 minute decided to follow the trailing two leg creature, who were entering into a cave like airport. Queue was long and when I reached at the security check, guard told me I have to go to other terminal. I asked myself to hurry and reached other terminal which was about 200 meters. I went inside and realized another maze like queue when somebody told me that it’s a queue and I should start from the end not from the beginning further I realized many pairs of eyes are staring and thinking me a fool and country side guy. Next without any hassle I get into the plane and found my seat, which was in the middle of one chinki and an Indian. I kept myself composed and started judging, exploring the buttons on my seat handle and the touch screen monitor on front seat. I didn’t want to reflect that I am traveling first time to foreign country. The problem started with the announcement, which I hardly understand except that crewmembers are wishing for happy journey and plane will go to Heathrow, London in a monotonous tone.
Now I am about to finish my UK 2 month’s trip and when I look back, I have heaped memorable, funny and learning experience. For some events I laugh at myself and for some others will laugh at me. Now I am waiting for the day when I will takeoff for my land, family and friends. I would like to visit (preferably on company expense) any other countries of course not countries like Iraq and Afghanistan. Cheers mate, wicked, Stella, you bloody Indians if I will use don’t get panic - I love you all :)

I want to be someone - but not like anyone

2006-08-29T06:28:00.000-07:00

Sometime I get fed up with my life (but never think of suicide or anything :)) - get fed up with what I am doing, what I am not doing, what I am thinking and list goes on ... I have tried many times to be consistent and work hard but ....
I will say with full authority that I will never get satisfied if I will pursue the present path - the secure path - path of more and more comfort. Even I am very sure but as I have time ahead in my life - statistically around 30 years and there is always a scope of miracle - I keep dreaming, dwelling, digging the unearthened part of my life.
I see many people around me from my family to the different era tycoons, leaders, saints and all famous personality, when I try to peek into their lives I see many voids, many black area and finally my search engines throws result "No page found try another key words".
You may be thinking that I am feeling low or confused or directionless or may be altogether - you can think whatever you feel I am not going to clear my stance as its coming out from deep inside of my mind, In addition to that what I have said is a common mental phenomenon and so hope everybody will understand it in their own domain and co-ordinates.

Communication Problem

2005-08-02T22:16:00.003-07:00

From yesterday I am really contemplating to stop all communication esp through mobile, mails. When I look back I see nothing constructive I have achieved with this mobile. I am not able to stop wild thoughts so will write latter. As I

am I really mean minded

2005-07-15T06:15:00.000-07:00

I was getting late to office(Which is a daily routine) and the local buses were out of sight. It happens especially at the time when I should have to be on my desk. Finally I was thinking to get an auto and reach office with being minimal late. Suddenly I saw that one lady and one girl(not very charming) were negotiating with auto ricksaw driver for fare. Without delay I approached and asked If I could share the same auto. They said ok and finally we moved for our destination. The girl was sitting next to me and since she was not charming I was more interested on road scene. After some time I saw that the girl was giving some money to that lady because she had to get down in middle. They talked in thier regional language, only thing I understood that lady told that she will pay the money. Girl got down and I was thinking that I am not going to share her fare. Lady has refused to take money so let him to pay for that girl also.

For convincing myself thoroughly my philosphical mind started giving the reasons in support of what I was thinking. I got convinced that if I will keep giving fare of every person who is in the same auto then I will have to beg very soon. My mind raised questions over girls conscience also that even if ladies offered her fare then she should not have accepted. While thinking these reasons I prepared myself for argument with the lady and took out only 10 rupees from my purse. I was just waiting for her to ask me for money but she directly gave 50 Rs to driver and said him to take the whole fare. Although I was not prepared for this response(rare) but immediately I given my share of money to her and got down from the auto. I am still ashamed on my thought and mean mindedness.

Spend time with family

2005-06-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year-old son waiting for him at the door...

Son: "Daddy, may I ask you a question"

Daddy: "Yeah sure, what it is?"

Son: "Dad, how much do you make an hour"

Daddy: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing? " thatman said angrily

Son: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

Daddy: "I make Rs. 500 an hour"

"Oh", the little boy replied, with his head down. Looking up, he said,
"Dad, may I please borrow Rs. 300?"

The father was furious, "if the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or other nonsense, then march yourself to your room and go to bed. Think why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior"

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions.

How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:"May be there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs. 300 and he really didn't ask for money very often!"

The man went to the door of little boy's room and opened the door.
"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, may be I was too hard on you earlier", said the man, "It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.300 you asked for" The little boy sat straight up, smiling "oh thank you dad!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled some crippled up notes.The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied."Daddy I have Rs. 500 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you"

MORAL
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family. An
unwise investment indeed!

What I Learnt from Mom

2005-05-20T04:54:00.000-07:00

by sudeepks

My mother has gone insane.

My father says so. My brother says so. Many others say so.
A couple of days back, my brother wrote to me saying that she has a strong desire to stay with him at any cost, and said he's running from home.

I wasn't surprised.

Like all other mothers, our mother fed us, clothed us, cared for us and raised us. She also taught at a primary school.

While my father, like all other fathers, enjoyed being the family man, party worker, union leader and press reporter, along with a bit of teaching. He was an important person in the town, while my mom didn't have any say either at home or outside.

It is not that she detested social respect. She enjoyed it whenever she got a taste of it. Most of the time, in an alarming manner. Because she wasn't used to getting any kind of admiration for the person in her, as opposed to what is expected of her as a wife and as a mother. There are rare moments when she shares with us the dreams that she had as a young girl, how she used to do well in sports, and how her friends and teachers admired her.

We quarreled with mom when the food got late. We never even bothered to find out what is involved in getting our meals on the table. All we know is that "mummy ka haath ka khana" is supposed to be the best. Yes, like all mothers, she too lived for others. Which meant her husband and children. So it doesn't come as a surprise if she asks for my brother's life in return. Or mine. Or my father's.

A few days back I overheard someone in my institute lamenting to his foreign friends that in our country, nobody cares if a husband and wife got along with each other. And that his mother was much more attached to him than to his father. Apparently this was curbing his movement, and even the four years of his engineering away from home is turning out to be a torture for his mother.

I felt he was talking for a generation. How can one then blame the Saas who gets insecure when the power she had on her son faces a threat? My mother had also been very attached to me, but I consciously stayed away. Refusing to play the role of a son-- of letting her enjoy the power a mother has over her son. Because I thought it is better to try and change these things that get taken for granted than doing a self sacrifice. My brother believed otherwise, and he kept trying to make a pretty family picture until he reached a point where he couldn't take it any more. I am now writing this piece as a Mother's day gift to my mom.

My friend's mother called the other day and said that her husband gets insecure with every social relationship she develops. And he wakes up in the night and starts weeping if she is not at home even for a day. My poor father also goes into a low if mom is not home. I find it sad that we men grow up without learning to cope with our emotions. It is very convenient for us to hold someone else responsible for our emotional well-being always. Be it mother or wife.

After she retired, my mom used to attend some events of her interest but now she doesn't, because dad doesn't like it. But he used to be out for days during our childhood. That is accepted. Caring for children and raising them is anyway mothers' job. Naturally, when it becomes difficult for her to stay at home without any exposure to the outer world, she tries to find a life in her children.

Some say city women are better off. But seeing them manage the pressures of their career along with the job of taking emotional care of the husband and children, I don't buy it any more.

I learnt from every mom that all moms are insane. Some succeed in keeping it to themselves, some within the four walls of the family.

A recent survey placed mother as the most beautiful word in English language. I learnt from my mom that the beauty of that word comes at the cost of a life. And this cost adds up to nearly half the population of the world.

This mother's day, talk to your mother and find out the price that is being payed for our convenience and our irresponsiblity.

[This was written in the first week of May when rediff, as part of their mother's day celebrations, invited the readers to tell them "what you learnt from mom". They said they'd publish selected entries on "Get Ahead". Rediff hasn't carried this write-up till date.]

Cat in a box

2005-04-29T01:59:00.001-07:00

Who is Schrodinger's cat? Arguably the world's most famous purely hypothetical feline. Never lived, but some say he's both dead and alive. At the same time. Ask your nearest physicist.

Erwin Schrodinger was a Nobel winning German physicist who died in 1961. The cat was part of a thought experiment he devised to explain one of the fundamental ideas of modern physics: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle.

Shorn of jargon, the Uncertainty Principle says something very simple: the act of measuring something changes the result of that measurement. Heisenberg showed that simultaneously determining both the position of an electron and the speed at which it is moving is impossible. If you can measure its speed accurately, that measurement will itself make its location wildly uncertain. And vice versa.

Put another way, measurement decides the state of the electron.

This is not such an esoteric idea. Examples abound, and not just among electrons. Imagine an anthropologist visiting a remote tribal village to study its inhabitants. His very presence disturbs the villagers, who will behave differently with this stranger in their midst. So by simply observing, the anthropologist affects what he wants to observe; and thus can never hope to get a true picture of life there.

This is all very well with tiny particles nobody can see anyway, and maybe also with distant tribals. But what about everyday objects around us? What about, say, cats?

Well, that very question occured to Schrodinger. His famous thought experiment goes something like this. Let's say we have a sealed box with a cat in it. Also in the box is a device that can randomly emit marbles. In the course of a minute, the chances are exactly 50-50 that it emits one. If it does, the marble breaks a vial and releases a poisonous gas into the box. Kitty is instantly asphyxiated. Otherwise, nothing happens.

We put the box somewhere far away, where we have no way to tell what's going on inside it. Suppose we turn on the device for exactly one minute. Question: what happens to the cat?

It must seem like a trivial question. The answer is that we don't know. We cannot predict whether a marble was actually emitted. So we don't know if the cat is alive or dead.

But if we walk up to the box and open it to hear -- let's hope -- the loud miaow of a very puzzled cat, only then do we actually know that it has survived its uncertain ordeal.

Before then, the best we can say about the cat is the non-sequitur that it is either alive or dead. But that's not really such a non-sequitur. It is entirely consistent with the laws of physics to think of the cat, before we open its box, as being both alive and dead, with a probability of 50 per cent for each state. Here's the point of the experiment: our act of opening the box and observing the cat -- taking a measurement, in other words -- is what puts the cat definitely into one of those states.

Cat, alive.

So what's the point, you want to know. What's so earth-shaking about this cat shut in a box?

There are many points, actually: the effect of measurement, the idea of uncertainty, the fact of indeterminacy (of that, perhaps another time). But probably the deepest and yet simplest point is this interesting view of the world: reality takes shape only when, precisely when, we sense it. Until then, it's uncertain. That's the Principle.

The anthropologist gets a picture of tribal behaviour only when he actually observes them, even if that changes the way they behave. We really know the fate of that poor cat only when we open Schrodinger's box.

All of us have wondered on these lines. Is my image in a mirror really there if I cannot see the mirror -- if I've turned my back to it, for example? Does a tree falling in a forest make a sound, if nobody is there to hear it?

Is there reality without observation, existence without consciousness?

Schrodinger's cat showed that the laws of physics might answer that last question with "no". That may be too extreme a view for most people's tastes, people who believe reality surrounds them without needing to be looked at. Then again, Schrodinger's cat wasn't real himself.

Nayee Kavita

2005-04-23T06:10:00.000-07:00

Nayee Kavita
Phir sagar manthan hua
Nikala amrith,rantanaaagar, aur vish
Devata ne liya amrith

danav ne ratanaagar
Bacha hua vish rah gaya
shiv nahi aayae pine vish
wahi vish manav ne baant liya

--Written by Pravin Chandra

Today Diary

2005-04-13T03:42:00.000-07:00

Today's Diary Today I am feeling very bad for the lack of aggression. Everyone should have certain level of aggression, power and sense to apply it wherever it required. Many times some odd situation comes and we get fumbled. We failed to do what we wanted to do. In some cases we lose respect, money and remains shattered with the thought of retaliation only. We should of-course be knowledgeable, polite but not coward and funked.

This was not a good week for me. I was low in spirit and was feeling very lonely, weak indeed I was very upset with me because of my incapability to do something. I categorize myself as a generous, amiable person having lots of respect for ethics. But when somebody try to take unethical benefit and granted from my simplicity then I found its really unbearable especially when I couldn't voiced against it. Point is that this world is full of cunning, cruel people. Even though you don't harm him they will attack on you for fun. I am not saying that we should also become like them, but we should always prepared to face those kind of persons. Its possible only when we will make ourself rich, powerful, influential.

The Triple Filter Test

2005-04-11T05:21:00.000-07:00

In ancient Greece, scholar and intellectual, Dr. Socrates was reputed to
hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great
philosopher and said,
"Do you know what I just heard about one of your friend?"

"Hold on a minute," Dr. Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd
like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?" asked the man.

"That's right," Dr. Socrates continued.

"Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a
moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple
filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that
what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and wanted to tell it to
you"

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.
Now let's try the second filter, the filter of goodness. Is what you are
about to tell me about my friend something good?"

"No, on the contrary, it is bad "

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but
you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, Because
there's one filter left: the filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell
me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really." Replied the man.

"Well," concluded Dr. Socrates, if what you want to tell me is neither true,
nor good, and nor even useful to me, why tell it to me at all ."

Thank you for everything

2005-04-11T03:03:00.000-07:00

Thank you for everything

Alan Cohen

The story is told about a woman Zen master named Sono who taught one very simple method of enlightenment. She advised everyone who came to her to adopt an affirmation to be said many times a day, under all conditions. The affirmation was, “Thank you for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever.”
Many people from all arenas of life came to Sono for healing. Some were in physical pain; others were emotionally distraught; others had financial troubles; some were seeking soul liberation. No matter what their distress or what question they asked her, her response was the same: “Thank you for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever.” Some people went away disappointed; others grew angry; others tried to argue with her. Yet some people took her suggestion to heart and began to practice it. Tradition tells that everyone who practised Sono’s mantra found peace and healing.
Thank you for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever. My friend Lisa, an attractive woman in her late 30s, came to one of my seminars after I had not seen her for a number of years. She informed the group that a year earlier she had been diagnosed with a brain disorder that required immediate surgery. The surgery was done, a steel plate was inserted in her head, and her doctor keeps her under close observation. Lisa reported that now she lives from day to day. Privately I told Lisa that I was sorry she had gone through this whole ordeal. “Oh, don’t be sorry,” she told me emphatically. “I’m not sorry at all. This was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It really got me to appreciate my life and relationships. I married a wonderful guy and we are thinking about having children. I wouldn’t trade the experience if I could.” Thank you for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever.
Can you imagine what your life would be like if you simply dropped your complaints? Its a radical proposal, since most of us have been trained to question, analyse, and criticise everything we see. But then we end up questioning, analysing, and criticising ourselves. Then we miss out on joy, the only true measure of success.
The ecstatic mystic poet Hafiz proclaimed, “All a sane man can ever think about is giving love.” One evening I received a phone call from my friend Cliff, a Jewish guy from Brooklyn who discovered A Course in Miracles and became a world-class love exuder. Cliff just went around finding good and beauty in everyone he met. On the phone, Cliff told me, “I just called to tell you how much I love and appreciate you.”
“Well, thank you Cliff,” I answered, delighted. “I really appreciate that... What prompted you to call me at this moment?”
“My knee was hurting me, and I knew that the only way I could feel better would be to give more love. So I began to think of the people in my life who I care about, and you came to mind.” Thank you for everything. I have no complaint whatsoever.
In my book Handle with Prayer, I state that the highest form of prayer is gratitude. Instead of asking God for stuff, start thanking God for stuff, and you will find that God has already given you everything you could want or need, including the adventure of discovering more riches every day. Life is a big treasure hunt. Eventually we grow weary of seeking treasures outside ourselves, and we begin to look within. There we discover that the gold we sought, we already are. The beauty we overlooked because we were focusing on what was missing, still lives and awaits us like an anxious lover. As T.S. Eliot nobly noted, “The end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”

Hello

2005-03-31T01:03:00.000-08:00

Hello I am sitting idle so the best way to keep myself busy is to write the blog. Like an aesthetic artist who starts their creation without any preplanning, I will also try to blog the feeling which will come to me naturally. Yesterday I talked with maa, papa and it was a very nice emotional conversation. They are alone and their loneliness reflects in their conversation, I am totally incapable to provide them a company esp now when they need us. It doesn't matter whether I succeed to deceive, conceive the reason of their loneliness to myself. I have posed several time the same question to me "Is it ok the way we(all three brother) are growing ?" , "Do we know the correct meaning of growth ?", "are we just another participants of man race ?" I got answer many times but problem is that the answer itself is temporal. Somebody can criticize me for demanding, desiring an eternal, permanent, time-independent answer in this temporal, fragile, frail world. But this is the reality and I am ready to bear, endure the criticism.

ColourFul Holi

2005-03-28T05:41:00.000-08:00

ColourFul Holi

For me IIT is always remained a institution of excellance before and after my Course in IIT Bombay. Now as an alumni whenever I go to IIT I get lots of satisfaction, inspiration, motivation and positive thoughts.

On this Holi festival I was in IIT. Although only few batchmates(manish,sahu and hema) was there but company of juniors has not only filled the abyss of loneliness but added some memorable events to my life. I always feel pity that there student life's pleasure, fantasy is going to end as only few days are remaining which can be counted on fingers. I usually enjoy as a bridge between juniors and our class mates. Some time don't hesitate to provide them some funny information about my batchmates. Most of the time I keep myself as a silent spectrator and keep a distance on contentious issues so that I can enjoy both company.
This time I meet with some of my professors whom I like, admire most. I feel students are always skeptic to meet their professor including me. But this time I talked with them without barrier or too much formalities. Ofcourse their kind gesture has given me the previlage, openness to talk.

I pray that the root of this relationship with IIT gang goes deeper and deeper.

2005-03-28T01:42:00.000-08:00

Previous Post
Last to last night I went to bed on 3 O'clock, I was trying to scratch the layer which is getting thicker on my philosphical sense/mind/attitude. That day I had a around 30 minute conversation with myself regarding what I am doing, what I wanted to do. SomeTime I get trapped poorly with this sort of situation and any effort to convince(may be some time deceive) myself(what I am doing is right) results with the revolt of myself against myself. Thread of thoughts
is breaking so putting leg on the break to stop writing with the promise to come next time with again original thoughts.

Love and Marriage

2005-03-28T01:17:00.000-08:00

Love and Marriage
One day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is love? How can I find it?" .His teacher answered, "There is a vast wheat field in front.. Walk forward without turning back, and pick only one stalk. If you find the most magnificent stalk, then you have found love." Plato walked forward, and before long, he returned with empty hands, having picked nothing.
His teacher asked, "Why did you not pick any stalk?" Plato answered, "Because I could only pick once, and yet I could not turn back. I did find the most magnificent stalk, but did not know if there were any better ones ahead, so I did not pick it. As I walked further, the stalks that I saw were not as good as the earlier one, so! I did not pick any in the end. His teacher then said, "And that is LOVE."

On another day, Plato asked his teacher, "What is marriage? How can I find it?" His teacher answered, "There is a thriving forest in front. Walk forward without turning back, and chop down only one tree. If you find the tallest tree, then you have found marriage". Plato walked forward, and before long, He returned with a tree. The tree was not bad, and it was not tall either. It was only an ordinary tree, not the best but just a good tree. His teacher asked, "Why did you chop down such an ordinary tree?" Plato answered, "Because of my previous experience. I had walked through the
field, but returned with empty hands. This time, I saw this tree, and I felt that it was the first good tree that I saw, so I chopped it down and brought it back. I did not want to miss the opportunity."
His teacher then said, "And that is MARRIAGE. You see son...Love is the most beautiful thing to happen to a person, its an opportunity but you don't realize its worth when you have it but only when its gone like the field of stalks. Marriage like the tree you chopped, it's a compromise; you pick the first best thing you see and learn to live a happy life with it."

Today

2005-03-28T01:15:00.000-08:00

Today

Beginning today I will no longer worry about yesterday. It is in the past and the past will never change. Only I can change by choosing to do so.

Beginning today I will no longer worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it. But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first making the most of today.

Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration. This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better.

Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life. I value the gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others.

Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter. I will face challenges with courage and determination. I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self- improvement.

Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time.Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image, my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.

Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness. Regardless of what has gone before. I believe there is hope for a brighter and better future.

Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart. I will welcome new
experiences. I will meet new people. I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world. But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.

Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy... admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favorite music, pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath... Pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.

Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savor all the various flavors life has to offer. I will change what I can and the rest I will let go. I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be.

Beginning Today, And Everyday

CAPTCHA project

2005-03-22T23:21:00.000-08:00

CAPTCHA^TM tests have several applications for practical security, including (but not limited to):

Online Polls. In November 1999, http://www.slashdot.com released an online poll asking which was the best graduate school in computer science (a dangerous question to ask over the web!). As is the case with most online polls, IP addresses of voters were recorded in order to prevent single users from voting more than once. However, students at Carnegie Mellon found a way to stuff the ballots using programs that voted for CMU thousands of times. CMU's score started growing rapidly. The next day, students at MIT wrote their own program and the poll became a contest between voting "bots". MIT finished with 21,156 votes, Carnegie Mellon with 21,032 and every other school with less than 1,000. Can the result of any online poll be trusted? Not unless the poll requires that only humans can vote.

Free Email Services. Several companies (Yahoo!, Microsoft, etc.) offer free email services. Most of these suffer from a specific type of attack: "bots" that sign up for thousands of email accounts every minute. This situation can be improved by requiring users to prove they are human before they can get a free email account. Yahoo!, for instance, uses a CAPTCHA^TM test of our design to prevent bots from registering for accounts.

Search Engine Bots. It is sometimes desirable to keep webpages unindexed to prevent others from finding them easily. There is an html tag to prevent search engine bots from reading web pages. The tag, however, doesn't guarantee that bots won't read a web page; it only serves to say "no bots, please". Search engine bots, since they usually belong to large companies, respect web pages that don't want to allow them in. However, in order to truly guarantee that bots won't enter a web site, CAPTCHA^TM tests are needed.

Speakin in Public

2005-03-22T23:10:00.000-08:00

Speaking in Public
The goal is a speech that leaves both speaker and listeners feeling energized, encouraged, and, perhaps, motivated for future action. As Jeff Scott Cook says in his book

The ability to speak confidently and well is a talent universally admired and envied. But it is more than just a novelty, like juggling. The ability to hold an audience -- to be heard by those who matter -- is a crucial skill at any age.... [G]athering the courage to speak and the skill to do it well, we flex the mightiest muscle of civilization. Speaking up on what matters can be the proudest (and possibly the most important) moment of one's life....

Quotations

2005-03-22T01:24:00.000-08:00

Quotations
Everthing is okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until we have been stuck, incapacitated, or blown off course for a while. Plain sailing is pleasant, but you are not going to explore many unknown realms that wayp; - David Whyte

I hope that posterity will judge me kindly, not only as to the things which I have explained, but also to those which I have intentionally omitted so as to leave to others the pleasure of discovery. - Descartes

No human inquiry can be called science unless it pursues its path through mathematical exposition and demonstration.
- Leonardo Da Vinci

Kaho na khuda se ki langar utha de
Ki main toofan ki zid dekhna chaahta hoon

Attempt the end and never stand to doubt;
Nothing's so hard but search will find it out - Robert Herrick,"Seek and Find, " Hesperides

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do - Jerome Klapka Jerome ,Idle thoughts of an Idle Fellow

The voice of nature loudly cries
And many a message from the skies,
That something in us never dies.

Give me the strength lightly to bear my joys and sorrows
Give me the strength to make my love fruitful in service
Give me the strength never to disown the poor or bend my knees before insolent might
Give me the strength to raise my mind high above daily trifles
And give me the strength to surrender my strength to thy will with love - Rabindra Nath Tagore
Give me the wisdom to remember and use in life all the above - Added by me :)

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, But what is more painful is to never have the courage to let that person know how you feel. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fadesaway.

Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying
Map out your future.....but do it in pencil....
"Only two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity, and I am not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein
"Only two things are finite: The life-time and human intelligence,and I not sure about human intelligence." -Kautilya Jain
We're all ideal people spoiled by the approximations of reality.
" Adversity causes some men to break ; others to break records " - William A Ward
"HAPPINESS IS YOUR OWN NATURE,HENCE IT IS NOT WRONG TO DESIRE IT. WHAT IS WRONG IS SEEKING IT OUTSIDE, BECAUSE IT IS INSIDE"
Power that comes through authority creates more problems. But the power that comes through responsibility brings commitment and direction, it has a different taste!
Power through authority is 2nd class power, the power gained through responsibility is 1st class power!
Power in authority is given (by somebody) Power in responsibility is generated(taken)!
In your life you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again; but you do.
- Kevin Arnold The Wonder Years
Blame your own self for whatever is wrong in your life, Give credit to others for whatever is right, Most people do the other way round, And that's where they get "stuck up" with life! What student says ...... if you don't know then follow this link

Immanuel Kant

2005-03-22T01:19:00.000-08:00

A distinction between phenomena and noumena - phenomena being that which can be experienced, and noumena being things that are beyond the possibility of experience - things in themselves. Nothing can be truly experienced or else you would experience the noumena itself. The phenomena is only the representation of the object/noumena that a person receives through their sensibilities. The phenomena is a representation of an object not the object itself, nothing more. Kant then discussed and expanded on the faculties of experience we have, and thus was able to come up with a system of metaphysics that applied to the world as we perceive it.